Hine's and Chicky's Interview Show!
by Hine no Chikyuu
Summary: Me (Hine) and Chicky start a little t.v. show interviewing the different characters from HP. We find fear, disgust, happiness, and even love. Oh, and it's REALLY insane! Co-written with my friend Chicky.
1. Meet Harry and Draco, Interviewing Snape

Hine: Ok, this story was co-written with my friend Chicky.   
  
Chicky: Yup! And it's on my favorite book series! Harry Potter! *fantasizes about Harry*   
  
Hine: Right......... anyway, onto the disclaimer shall we?   
  
Chicky: Are you really that stupid? If you heard of the them before, they're Jo's. If you don't, it's self-explanatory.   
  
Hine: Or in other words, we don't own HP so don't kill us. Please. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chicky: Elllllo' everyone and welcome to our show!  
  
Hine: I don't think it is a show...  
  
Chicky: Whatever...Our first guest is...Snape...damn, our ratings are gonna plummet.  
  
*Snape walks out*  
  
Snape: It's a pleasure?  
  
Chicky: Ew.  
  
Hine: I want my mommy!  
  
Chicky: Sooo...you're a potions teacher and tormenter extraordinaire?  
  
Snape: Yes.  
  
Hine: *laughing* Wow! That is the most moronic job ever! Continue.  
  
Snape: I also am a member of the Order of the Phoenix.  
  
Hine: Sounds important. In another universe.  
  
Snape: Ingrates!!! Avada!...  
  
*Snape is pummeled by a tall dark haired man*  
  
Snape: Potter! You will pay for this!!  
  
Harry: Yea right!  
  
Chicky: You go girl!  
  
Harry and Nikki: 0_0  
  
Chicky: sorry.  
  
Hine: Your welcome.  
  
Harry: Please and thank you!  
  
Chicky: The soup was excellent!  
  
Hine: May I have more lines?  
  
Chicky: course!  
  
Hine: Dracy-poo!  
  
Chicky: You would not...  
  
*Draco walks on stage. Menacingly. Draco sits down. Menacingly.*  
  
Draco: Hello pumkin-pie-pudums. Hi fiends.  
  
Chicky: Harry, I'm scared...  
  
Harry: It's all right. It's only a moron. *hugs*  
  
Chicky: ^_^  
  
Hine: I love you Dracy-poo.  
  
Draco: I love you pumpkin-pudum. *Kiss, hug*  
  
Audience: Ahhhh...  
  
Chicky: *back from hug* Wow, we have an audience.  
  
Hine: I think we need some new guests. Bye Snape! Our next guest is Sirius Lee Black!  
  
Chicky: I think we're being too puny.  
  
Hine: 'Course!  
  
*Sirius walks out.*  
  
N and M: Hi! *hug him*  
  
Harry: Mary! What are you doing? Cheating on me for my 40-year-old godfather?  
  
Chicky: No, he's just likeable.  
  
Sirius: Yea, like I'd ever take your girlfriend. I'd only take James'.  
  
Hine: That's so shallow.  
  
Sirius: Shallower than my private pool? I don't think so!  
  
Chicky: Let's go to a commercial break!  
  
Hine: ^_^   
  
This portion brought to you by Bill Gates. If he didn't exist you wouldn't see this now. 


	2. Hey! It's Lupin Ok, forget him, WE'RE GO...

Disclaimer: Wheee! We own Harry Potter! In our dreams. Really, we do dream we own Harry Potter. You still believe us? We owe all our thanks to JK for creating the books ^_^.  
  
Chicky: Welcome back!!  
  
Hine: I'm totally high off caffeine!  
  
Chicky: Wish I was **Coke appears** Sweet!!! **gulps down**Ahh...WOO HOO!! PARTY!!  
  
Hine: Wow. You really soaked that up. Our next guest is...this can't be right...no...can't be...it's...Lupin?  
  
I hate him. Only because he is nothing like Yuugi-chan. Chicky: Sleep **pokes neck and Hine's head drops**  
  
Come on out Lupin. I need a laugh.  
  
Lupin: Grrr.  
  
Hine: **awakes** Hey! Your'e that nice dude person!  
  
Chicky: Thank you. No more Yuugi. Cool?  
  
Hine: Cool.  
  
Chicky: I think we need to mess things up about now.  
  
Lupin: I haven't said anything!  
  
Hine: Say something then.  
  
Lupin: I like muffins ^_^  
  
Hine: Good. Time to shake things up.  
  
Chicky: Let's go on a quest for the Holy Grail!  
  
Hine: 'K. Harry, Draco, Ron, Hermione; get your asses out here!  
  
Draco: **in Russian accent** In England, we say ass, arse!  
  
Hine: My honey is soooo funny! Your'e my little Jim Carrey!  
  
Chicky: Let's hope they don't slobber over each other. Hine: Hey!!  
  
Draco: I just happen to love that woman! Hine: You...do? YAY! I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! **starts kissing him**  
  
Chicky: I would think this is cute if it weren't for the fact that it's with that Slytherin Bastard.  
  
Hine: Language, language!  
  
Harry: Yeah!  
  
Ron: What do I care?  
  
Hermione: Sh-she said t-t-the b w-w-word  
  
Chicky: Have you no sense of adventure? And my friend's little brother thought "crap" was bad.  
  
Hine: Holy Grail?  
  
Chicky: Oh yeah! We have to find the Holy Grail.  
  
All: Sure!  
  
Hine: To Chicky's house!**does Batman thing with a muffin**  
  
~~~~~~~They are at Chicky's house. Her cats are clawing at Draco~~~~~~~~  
  
Draco: Oww. Dang. Ouch. Why won't you get them off me?  
  
Chicky: They obivously like it there.  
  
Hine: You know, I kinda like you like that. Bleedin' and stuff. I like blood! It tastes like copper!  
  
Harry: I love it  
  
Ron: Me too.  
  
Hermione: Hey, why not?  
  
Harry: Soooo. What are we doing here? I don't see anything.  
  
Chicky: He totally does not get the point.  
  
Hine: Shame.  
  
Hermione: Uhh...none of us get the point.  
  
Hine: We're not actually looking for anything. It's just a plot device.  
  
Draco: Ow, ow, ow, ow...  
  
**All look at him in pity**  
  
Draco: get'em offa me!!  
  
Chicky: Okay. **yanks kittens off**  
  
Hine: That was very nice of you, you know.  
  
Chicky: I hated it.  
  
Hine: *walks over to Draco and starts licking the blood*  
  
Draco: -_-() Oh well! *enjoys it since his sweety pie is doing it*  
  
Hine: *grins and continues lapping up blood* THERE WE GO! ALL CLEAN!  
  
Draco: *grins and hugs Hine*  
  
Hine: *hugs back*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~2 hours later~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All: Kumbya my lord, Kumbya!  
  
Hine: It was a great idea to burn your coffee table and sing hippies songs.  
  
Harry: Yup, it was a good idea.  
  
Hermione: NUGGET CRUNCH! Sorry.  
  
Ron: Have you ever considered therapy?  
  
Hermione: I've been seeing one since I was 4.  
  
All: 0_o  
  
Hine: O...kay. Where should we go next?  
  
Ron: The mall!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~muffin thingy again~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chicky: Harry, would you stop trying on socks!!!  
  
Harry: Does this make my ankles look big?  
  
Chicky: **puts head in hands**  
  
Hine: I miss the fire  
  
Chicky: Oy vey. Woe is me.  
  
Hine: Doesn't that mean the same thing? *confuseled*  
  
A/N: Okay that's all we have for now. All flames will be used to bake cookies for the good reviewers. And flamers: WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN. Actually, forget it. We don't have the time. Review!!! please! We don't know what we're doing! And so you all know, these chapters are small since we have to write it in an e-mail. See the button? -- Push it! 


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